Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize