i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
