I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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