i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
