We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
