Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
is that a dick in a sweater?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
