honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize