There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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