For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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