omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
