are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
either way he was missing a nipple.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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