I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize