Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize