Christians are straight up FREAKS
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
