You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
