Don't make out with my wife yet
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
