Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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