my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize