arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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