Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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