i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
