garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
