I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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