would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize