awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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