so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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