Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
