well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
as a side note pls kill me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
