Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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