Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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