I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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