Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize