Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Someone came in the potted fern
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
