Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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