i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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