help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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