sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize