Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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