Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
