some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
