I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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