Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
