Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize