One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
