Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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