why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize