he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize