wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
