Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
