So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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