so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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