Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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