I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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