I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
