I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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