I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
