Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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