i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
