Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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