Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize