yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
