My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize