doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
