that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
