i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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