stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize