and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
