Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
