you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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