did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
