woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
